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On December 4, 2020, this article was edited to use the correct phrase, "ferme la bouche."

I’ve been called abrupt before. In fact, I am called many unpleasant things. In this article, I’m going to teach you how to communicate successfully with any prospect in two sentences or fewer. It works. It’s called the, “two-sentence rule,” and here’s how it goes.

The two-sentence rule

The wheels on the bus go round and round, all through the town. And if it’s my house you’re talking about, make it four buses under seven years old.

Mashugana?

Si, senora.

A few years ago, I noticed my communication fell into a strange rhythm with my utterances sounding like this:

  • That’s your brother’s singing piggy. Give it to him.
  • It’s bedtime. Who knows how to use a whisper voice?
  • Now that spoon just fell on the floor. Get that filthy thing out of your mouth!
  • Stop throwing Magna-tiles at her. How do you feel when people throw things at your head like that?

Does anyone want a kid or two? I’ll send them over. Just email me your Delta SkyMiles number. I’ll even throw in some Elsa and Anna face masks.