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The essence of the activities we enjoy – how we have “fun” – reveals a key personality trait. Identifying that trait and that of your prospects and clients is critical to providing good advice.

I’m having fun writing this article. My wife is in her studio, working on a new painting. She’s having fun as well. When she comes home, we’ll have fun being together.

We also had fun on New Year’s Eve. She planned a great dinner for the two of us. We went to bed early. It was great.

We have friends who spent New Year’s Eve quite differently. They joined 300 other partiers and had dinner at their country club. The evening included dancing. Champagne flowed. They were recovering from a massive hangover when we spoke the next morning. But they told us it was a “blast.”

“Fun” differs

The definition of “fun” differs depending on whether you’re an introvert or an extrovert. The brain of introverts is over stimulated by interactions with large numbers of people. The same experience is energizing to extroverts. This difference explains why my wife and I (both introverts) enjoy a quiet evening at home, while my friends (both extroverts) had the time of their lives partying with a large crowd until the wee hours of the morning.

The importance of self-awareness

The difference in the perception of fun between introverts and extroverts explains why self-awareness is so important. It’s also important to understand the personality type of those around you.

If you are an extrovert, married to an introvert, and don’t understand the consequences of that difference, you’ll find your life filled with frustration.